one of my favorites...
Find Myself or Honesty – 13/7/2008
Broken, rent from my foundation, bleeding from deep wounds.
Lying riven and empty, vanquished by my own hand
As enjoined by my enemies. Conformed to their will
While abandoning mine I lie, tired and confused;
Ignored, spurned for my pains, attempts to please the crowd.
Hoping for their notice, pleading for their attention;
I gain neither, and am not myself, not one of them.
Stripped from my identity, my soul stricken, bled dry.
I’m deserted, left desolate with my empty thoughts.
Slowly recovering, trying to regain myself
From my self-inflicted void, that hole bored deep inside.
I still cower, afraid of others’ opinions,
Too cowardly to resist that stifling influence.
What I enjoy, they despise; what I do, they spurn,
I try to please them, but it rings hollow, mere pretense.
It stops now: the obeisance, the sacrifice of my
Soul on the altar, offered to the mocking crowd’s whim.
I’ll fight back, I’ll seize my life from untrustworthy hands.
Crusade for myself, leave no stone unturned in my search.
With no aid, flight from the mob is my only option.
No longer a faceless member of the pack, I must
Defend my thoughts, likes, actions: my very being.
I flee, and though they raise the hue and cry, I’ll escape,
Run to the stronghold and loving embraces of my
Long-neglected friends, the ones who were there through it all.
A new friend too, one who helped raise me from my stupor,
And reminds me of long-forgotten parts of myself.
How long will it take to repair what I’ve done?
Will it take months to heal my wounds? Years to regain my friends?
All I know is that I must return to how I was,
Recover my true self, not the fabricated one
Made to please others. I need help: mem’ries of what I
Used to be; visions of what I could possibly be.
But most of all I need a companion, one staunch friend.
A fellow human, who’s always willing to listen.
Find myself deep under the chaos of what I’ve been.
Broken, rent from my foundation, bleeding from deep wounds.
Lying riven and empty, vanquished by my own hand
As enjoined by my enemies. Conformed to their will
While abandoning mine I lie, tired and confused;
Ignored, spurned for my pains, attempts to please the crowd.
Hoping for their notice, pleading for their attention;
I gain neither, and am not myself, not one of them.
Stripped from my identity, my soul stricken, bled dry.
I’m deserted, left desolate with my empty thoughts.
Slowly recovering, trying to regain myself
From my self-inflicted void, that hole bored deep inside.
I still cower, afraid of others’ opinions,
Too cowardly to resist that stifling influence.
What I enjoy, they despise; what I do, they spurn,
I try to please them, but it rings hollow, mere pretense.
It stops now: the obeisance, the sacrifice of my
Soul on the altar, offered to the mocking crowd’s whim.
I’ll fight back, I’ll seize my life from untrustworthy hands.
Crusade for myself, leave no stone unturned in my search.
With no aid, flight from the mob is my only option.
No longer a faceless member of the pack, I must
Defend my thoughts, likes, actions: my very being.
I flee, and though they raise the hue and cry, I’ll escape,
Run to the stronghold and loving embraces of my
Long-neglected friends, the ones who were there through it all.
A new friend too, one who helped raise me from my stupor,
And reminds me of long-forgotten parts of myself.
How long will it take to repair what I’ve done?
Will it take months to heal my wounds? Years to regain my friends?
All I know is that I must return to how I was,
Recover my true self, not the fabricated one
Made to please others. I need help: mem’ries of what I
Used to be; visions of what I could possibly be.
But most of all I need a companion, one staunch friend.
A fellow human, who’s always willing to listen.
Find myself deep under the chaos of what I’ve been.
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