Thursday, July 16, 2009


It's been a long day.
Tedious, crammed with
Nothingness, and long.
Clenched tightly in my
Fingers, my pencil's width
Seems vast, somehow wrong.

I seek refuge in my bed,
Hide in my soft pillows,
But my cough finds me;
Racks my lungs. I feel bled,
Drained of strength by what follows:
A sadness from which I forsee

No relief. No escape. No plan.

A sting.
Sometimes a hiss.
It doesn't even hurt anymore;
An echo of a thought,
No design,
Just an impulse.

Even though I joke,
With my "kxk," always
Under the surface
I'm deadly serious.
Not an easy yoke,
Though in these days
No fight 's shown its face.
I've never understood the fuss.

and my song lyrics (ish)
The judgemental ones who condemn difference.
We fight.
We fight.
Forever we strive against the hostile cult:

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Friday, July 10, 2009

Portrait of Blood--29/6/2009

The brushstrokes flowed together so fittingly,
Their delicate lines and blotches lovely in their simplicity.
Somehow though, an intricate, complex web
Glinted, maybe the cracks that permeate every life.
Why did it all shatter? What reason is there behind
The chaos of fragments and shards on the floor?
As I turn and walk away I cannot stop the flood of tears,
Or the trickle of blood, or cease looking back, staring
Over my shoulder, as it liquifies, pools, and with
Ripples forms a delicate blossom on the floor, haunting
With its beauty, a reminder of what could have been
so wonderful.

Laughter (an experiment)--29/6/2009
Why does he laugh when his heart is leaden?
Maybe he tries to fool himself into thinking
That he's fine, that everything is just dandy.
Sometimes it can hide the feeling of despair,
And it can fool those who aren't interested
Into believing that everything is just dandy.

I on 1/7/2009
I don't know what's dragging me on,
I can't tell if it is kind or cruel to do so.
I had a purpose once, but now it's gone;
Abandoned me, so now my arms no longer know
Effort, my knees can no longer support
Me with their willpower stripped away.
My heart continues to beat as my last resort
Compels it, my music a bellows supplying breaths in rhythm.

I've written a few of these poems, but I'm not sure if I can post these... but basically they describe how I feel on the specified date, and if I can't complete the poem I never go back. No editing, or anything like that...